80+ Best Dad Jokes Ever That Are Funny, Corny, and Just Plain Bad
This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive commission for purchases made through these links. Price at time of publish date may change.
They’re corny, they’re silly, but you have to admit, they’ll at least make you chuckle… Sometimes. Even the best dad jokes are cringey, but it’s all worth the eye rolls to see him laughing! For Father’s Day, his birthday, or just a night you want to crack a bad dad joke at the table to break the ice, the funniest dad jokes are good to have in your back pocket. Luckily, there are plenty to choose from on our list. It’s safe to say Drew and Jonathan have a ton of experience cracking bad—we mean dad—jokes on the regular.
On our list, you’ll find dad jokes for kids, punny dad jokes for that gotcha moment, and terrible dad jokes you just can’t help but giggle at. Next time you sit down together and watch one of Dad’s favorite TV shows or play some backyard games with the fam, offer up one of these puns to give the guy a chuckle. But don’t say we didn’t warn you: If he likes them, he’ll probably start using a couple himself…
Funny Dad Jokes
- “Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.”
- “What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.”
- “Which is faster: hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold!”
- “What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.”
- “What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.”
- “What did Mario say to Princess Peach when he broke up with her? It’s not you…It’s-a-me…Mario!”
- “How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? He was shocked!”
- “A pony with a cough is just a little horse.”
- “What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.”
- “Want to hear a construction joke? Never mind, I’m still working on it.”
- “What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.”
- “How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.”
- “I was going to tell you a time-travel joke… But you didn’t like it.”
- “Why don’t skeletons ever get into arguments? Because they don’t have the guts.”
- “I told my plants I was going on vacation. They’re rooting for me!”
- “What has five toes and isn’t your foot? My foot.”
- “I had a date last night and it was perfect. Today I’ll have a fig.”
- “Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy.”
- “What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!”
Dad Jokes for Kids
- “When does a dad joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.”
- “My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punchline.”
- “If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
- “I tell dad jokes, but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa.”
- “Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!”
- “Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She’ll let it go!”
- “Did you hear about the teenager who failed his driving test? He thought it was a crash course.”
- “Dad burned the Hawaiian pizza! He should have used Aloha temperature.”
- “What’s the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke? The first letter.”
- “Why do dads take an extra pair of pants when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!”
- “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
- “Dad, I’m thirsty!” “Hello Thirsty, I’m Dad!”
- “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”
- “Why did the dad take up gardening? He wanted to ‘turnip’ the fun in his life!”
- “What does a baby computer call his father? Data.”
Cheesy Dad Jokes
- “I was at my local home improvement store yesterday and was looking in the window section. An employee came over and asked if I needed any help. I said, ‘No thanks, I’m just window shopping.'”
- “Want to hear a DIY joke? I’m still working on it.”
- “Why is the graveyard the most popular place in town? Because everyone is ‘dying’ to get in!”
- “Why did Marie Curie stop dating that guy? There was no chemistry.”
- “Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Summer wasn’t too bad either.”
- “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere!”
- “Why did the tourist feel disappointed when they saw the Liberty Bell? It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.”
- “Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course it can! Buildings can’t jump.”
- “What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeño business!”
- “Did you hear that one sausage joke? It’s the wurst!”
- “I used to play piano by ear… But now I use my hands.”
- “What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.”
- “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high… She looked surprised.”
- “I asked the librarian if they had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you…’“
- “How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.”
- “I tried to start a hot air balloon business. But it never really took off.”
- “How did the barber win the race? He took a shortcut!”
- “I’m afraid of the calendar… Its days are numbered!”
- “What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.”
- “What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue.”
- “I named my horse Mayo…. Mayo neighs.”
- “Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.”
Dad Puns
- “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”
- “I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it’s more of a wrap.”
- “I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”
- “Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.”
- “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!”
- “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
- “Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!”
- “What’s Forrest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1.”
- “What do you call a snake that loves building houses? A boa constructor.”
- “Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash.”
- “Totally unfair! I just got kicked out of my coffee club…I showed up in a tea shirt.”
- “Why will you never starve in the desert? Because of all the sand-which-is there.”
- “I recently visited the World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine exhibit. Honestly, not a big fan.”
- “Never throw away your spices—it’d be a waste of thyme!”
- “What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.”
- “Never drink milk from a pampered cow. It’s spoiled!”
- “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough…”
- “I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.”
- “I was struggling to figure out how lightning works… Then it struck me.”
- “I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something!”
- “I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge.”
- “I used to be a banker… But I lost interest.”
- “What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.”
- “What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.”
- “What kind of dogs do magicians like? Labracadabradors.”
- “You never play hide and seek with a leopard… They’re always spotted.”
- “My parents raised me as an only child… Which really annoyed my younger brother.”
- “What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.”
Shop Awesome Gifts for Dad
17 Best Grilling Tools and Essentials You Need for Summer
Take your BBQ game to the next level.
Read More
Megan Stein
Megan is the Senior Director of Editorial and Content Marketing for DrewandJonathan.com. She has over a decade of experience in the home and lifestyle industry, with previous roles at The Pioneer Woman, Country Living, and People magazine. She loves to inspire readers with beautiful, approachable design ideas, as well tips on how to bring their visions to life. She’s also shopping obsessed, and is dedicated to discovering the best products to make life easier, whether it’s testing a top-rated vacuum or the finding the perfect rug to complete your room.
⚖️ How We Choose What to Recommend
